“If you don’t like what’s happening in your life, change your mind.”

This brief quotation from the Dalai Lama reminds me that my experience of life changes as I do. As I change, I change the way I influence - and am influenced by - my surroundings.

How are you inventing your life today? How does the way you think affect your actions? And how might you become more aware of the process?

A centering breath is a place to start.

When you’re stressed, in conflict, or otherwise under pressure, do you hold your breath? Most people do. When you stop the natural flow of air, you become tense and unbalanced, physically and emotionally. Your body, mind and spirit are disconnected.

One of the easiest ways to regain your balance is to start breathing again. Open your throat, relax your body and allow inspiration to take place. Inspiration-a great word, isn’t it? Your breath is your life energy that connects to inner wisdom, resources and strength.

A good way to practice centering is to notice how often you hold your breath. The awareness will trigger you to start breathing again. The more you notice, the less you’ll hold your breath, and the more relaxed and centered you’ll be. Try it. And let me know what happens!

©2005 Judy Ringer, Power & Presence Training

About the Author: Judy Ringer is the author of Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict, containing stories and practices on conflict, communication and living a more purposeful life. Judy is a black belt in aikido and nationally known presenter, specializing in unique workshops on creating a more positive life and work environment. She is the founder of Power & Presence Training, and chief instructor of Portsmouth Aikido, Portsmouth, NH, USA. To sign up for more free tips and articles like these, visit www.JudyRinger.com

(Excerpted From Cultivating An Unshakable Character)

For a leader, honesty and integrity are absolutely essential to survival. A lot of business people don’t realize how closely they’re being watched by their subordinates. Remember when you were a kid in grammar school, how you used to sit there staring at your teacher all day? By the end of the school year, you could do a perfect imitation of all your teacher’s mannerisms. You were aware of the slightest nuances in your teacher’s voice - all the little clues that distinguished levels of meaning, that told you the difference between bluff and “now I mean business”.

And you were able to do that after eight or nine months of observation. Suppose you had five or 10 years. Do you think there would have been anything about your teacher you didn’t know?

Now fast forward and use that analogy as a manager. Do you think there’s anything your people don’t know about you right this minute? If you haven’t been totally aboveboard and honest with them, do you really think you’ve gotten away with it? Not too likely. But if you’ve been led to believe that you’ve gotten away with it, there might be a good probability that people are afraid of you, and that’s a problem in its own right.

But there is another side of this coin. In any organization, people want to believe in their leaders. If you give them reason to trust you, they’re not going to go looking for reasons to think otherwise, and they’ll be just as perceptive about your positive qualities as they are about the negative ones.

A situation that happened some years ago at a company in the Midwest illustrates this perfectly. The wife of a new employee experienced complications in the delivery of a baby. There was a medical bill of more than $10,000, and the health insurance company didn’t want to cover it. The employee hadn’t been on the payroll long enough, the pregnancy was a preexisting condition, etc,etc,..

In any case, the employee was desperate. He approached the company CEO and asked him to talk to the insurance people. The CEO agreed, and the next thing the employee knew, the bill was gone and the charges were rescinded. Then he told some colleagues about the way the CEO had so readily used his influence with the insurance company, they just shook their heads and smiled. The CEO had paid the bill out of his own pocket, and everybody knew it, no matter how quietly it had been done.

Now an act of dishonesty can’t be hidden either, and it will instantly undermine the authority of a leader. But an act of integrity and kindness like the example above is just as obvious to all concerned. When you’re in a leadership position, you have the choice of how you will be seen, but you Will be seen one way or the other, make no mistake about it.

One of the most challenging areas of leadership is your family. Leadership of a family demands even higher standards of honesty and integrity, and the stakes are higher too. You can replace disgruntled employees and start over. You can even get a new job for yourself, if it comes to that. But your family can’t be shuffled like a deck of cards. If you haven’t noticed, kids are great moral philosophers, especially as they get into adolescence. They’re determined to discover and expose any kind of hypocrisy, phoniness, or lack of integrity on the part of authority figures, and if we’re parents, that means us. It’s frightening how unforgiving kids can be about this, but it really isn’t a conscious decision on their part; it’s just a necessary phase of growing up.

They’re testing everything, especially their parents.

As a person of integrity yourself, you’ll find it easy to teach integrity to your kids, and they in turn will find it easy to accept you as a teacher. This is a great opportunity and also a supreme responsibility, because kids simply must be taught to tell the truth: to mean what they say and to say what they mean.

“Praise is one the world’s most effective teaching and leadership tools. Criticism and blame, even if deserved, are counter productive unless all other approaches have failed.”

Now for the other side of the equation, we all know people who have gotten ahead as a result of dishonest or unethical behavior. When you’re a kid, you might naively think that never happens, but when you get older, you realize that it does. Then you think you’ve really wised up. But that’s not the real end of it. When you get older, you see the long-term consequences of dishonest gain, and you realize that in the end it doesn’t pay.

“Hope of dishonest gain is the beginning of loss”. I don’t think that old saying refers to loss of money. I think it actually means loss of self-respect. You can have all the material things in the world, but if you’ve lost respect for yourself, what do you really have? The only way to ever attain success and enjoy it is to achieve it honestly with pride in what you’ve done.

This isn’t just a sermon, it’s very practical advice. Not only can you take it to heart - you can take it to the bank.

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn

To order Jim’s best selling CD series Cultivating an Unshakable Character (6 CD’s) from our Inventory Blowout Product Special, go to http://jr3.jimrohn.com

Reproduced with permission from Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine.
Copyright 2005 Jim Rohn International. All rights reserved
worldwide. To subscribe to Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine, go to
http://Jim-Rohn.InspiresYOU.com

In the philosophical teachings which form the foundation for the Ninja Warrior’s lifeways, there is a principle known as the ‘law of interdependence.’ This so-called ‘law’ is not a must-do rule which one must follow, nor is it to be confused with dependence or co-dependence as it is seen today where one or more individuals who cannot or choose not to provide for themselves, lean on and ‘depend’ on the work and resources of another for the fulfillment of their needs. Rather, the law of interdependence is something that is to be recognized as a basic ‘truth’ in the world.

Much like the law of gravity or cause and effect, it is something that is ‘going-on,’ always, regardless of whether we ‘believe’ in it or not. In fact, contrary to our need to believe that we are what we are, this principle in action shows us that we are more like others than we know.

Unlike the law of gravity, however, which is difficult to understand and explain; interdependence is relatively easy to explain. Let’s use a simple analogy to understand this ‘goings-on.’ We’ll use something simple, like a Whopper. No, I’m not being paid to endorse a food franchise and you can feel free to substitute this item for any of a thousand others. But, for our purposes, it will do.

Now, most people would agree to the connection between themselves and all of the individuals working in the restaurant at the moment you visited and placed your order for the sandwich. Someone took your order; another was busy making the product; and others made sure it found its way to a tray or bag and ultimately into your hand. In this simple view, there is an interdependent connection between you - the person who ‘wants’ the sandwich, and those who are making sure that you get it.

Of course, seen from the viewpoint of any worker, they are mutually dependent on you, and many others throughout a day, wanting and willing to pay for a sandwich so that they can get a paycheck at the end of the week. For you: no restaurant - no sandwich. For them: no customers, no restaurant, no paycheck.

But, in the words of the enigmatic guru “Morphius” from the popular movie, “The Matrix”, if you really want to see “how deep the rabbit hole goes,” we can look much more closely at that simple sandwich.

Let’s begin with the wrapper. It wasn’t made there at the restaurant. It was delivered, probably by truck. Which means what? Well, where do you want to start? Driver? Truck dealership who sold it to Burger King? Truck manufacturer? Trailer manufacturer? Get the idea?

For now, let’s stay with the driver and truck remaining associated with the restaurant. But, already we’re talking about more than just the employees working in the restaurant, aren’t we. Many, if not all of them have families which will benefit from their paycheck in some way just as the company is benefiting from their desire or willingness to do the job they’re doing.

The wrapper itself is paper which now extends our connection to people working in the logging and paper production industries and their families. The ink does the same along those lines; and so on throughout the rest of the parts of the sandwich like the burger, vegetables, and so on.

“What’s the point?”, I can hear you asking. “How does this relate to personal development, martial arts, self-defense or my life?” After all, aren’t we different than a sandwich?

I don’t think it’s the answer that will drive the point home as much as a question: If a burger can be made up of the materials, effort, energy, intention and connections of so many that it almost touches the lives of every other person on the planet - how can we believe that we, as so-called ‘individuals,’ can be any different? After all, haven’t each one of us been influenced, positively or negatively, by other people, places, and situations that caused us to believe, act, and engage the world the way we do?

Can you imagine how different you would be had those influences been different or not there at all? Just think about what motivated you to take up martial arts training. Regardless of whether it was for self-defense, the allure of Asian culture, or soemthing else - you were first exposed to those ‘other things’ - giving you your reason to take up the arts. The saying goes, “no (wo)man is an island,” and it’s true. No matter how much we would like to be an ‘individual,’ we are nonetheless, tied to every other human being on the face of the planet - if by no other means than the water we drink and the air we breath. The law of interdependence teaches us to recognize the value in all things and to treat everything as though it were ‘me.’ Only then can one be sure that we are not acting in an egotistical, self-serving way that will harm, alienate, or hinder ourselves or others.

What does this have to do with our training? It is the person who recognizes and acts knowing that this is true who builds his or her world rather than isolating themselves as important and in contrast with everything and everyone else that is seen as ‘obviously’ of lesser value. It is the ego who must be “right” and “righteous” that needs to attack others - to fight for ‘right.’

There is an old saying that goes: “the truest measure of a person’s character is in the way he or she treats those least important to them.” Once we understand, and can ’see’, how our every thought, word, and action acts upon the world, we can take control of the process and decide to build a character that takes responsibility for the way it affects others. No longer will we act out of a state of disconnection and isolation, but move purposefully through our world with compassion and disciplined action.

We have a choice. We can be ‘nice’ to others because it’s proper manners to do so, because we expect to get something from them, or because we have to live with them. Or, we can treat others with respect and honor because we recognize that we are already connected to them in some way already.

Jeffrey M. Miller is the founder and master instructor of Warrior Concepts International. A senior teacher in the Japanese warrior art of Ninjutsu, he specializes in teaching the ancient ways of self-protection and personal development lessons in a way that is easily understood and put to use by modern Western students and corporate clients. Through their martial arts training, his students and clients learn proven, time-tested lessons designed to help them create the life they’ve always dreamed of living, and the skills necessary for protecting that life from anything that might threaten it. Shidoshi Miller is also the author of the “Foundations of Self Defense Mastery” eCourse. To learn more about this and other subjects related to the martial arts, self-defense, personal development & self-improvement, visit his website at http://www.warrior-concepts-online.com