There are a number of antidepressant drugs currently on the
market. The older antidepressants, known as Tricyclics and
MAOI’s (Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitors), tend to be prescribed
less often than the newer SSRI’s (Selective Serotonin Reuptake
Inhibitors). This is because the SSRI antidepressants are
thought to have fewer side effects and reduced toxicity in
overdose.

Typical drugs within the SSRI category are Seroxat, Cipramil,
and Prozac. 5 There are a number initial and on-going
side-effects associated with these drugs including nausea, sleep
problems, headache, restlessness, fever, sweating, dizziness,
sedation and sexual dysfunction. Virginal bleeding has also been
reported after withdrawal of SSRI’s. The severity of any
side-effects/withdrawal effects may be dependant on the length
of time the drugs are taken and the dosage.

The neurotransmitter, Serotonin, is thought to have an effect on
mood - although, its function is not fully understood.
Therefore, the efficacy (effectiveness) of the Selective
Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRI’s) is also not fully
understood. However, it is thought that by increasing serotonin
levels in the brain, it may be possible to lift depressed
feelings or low mood.

Current theory about these antidepressants is that they act
within the brain to restrict the reuptake (reabsorption) of
Serotonin back into the original nerve cell once the
neurotransmitter (chemical messenger) has jumped between one
nerve cell and the next. By preventing the natural reabsorption
of serotonin, the neurotransmitter remains in the gap (synapse)
between nerve cells and floods the system - thus increasing
serotonin levels.

It is clearly a personal choice whether or not to take
antidepressants drugs and to balance the risks against the
possible benefits. Although, given our limited knowledge of the
human brain and its delicate and complex nature it may be worth
questioning the wisdom of attempting to alter its natural
balance by artificial means.

The following article is offered for free use in your ezine,
print publication or on your web site, so long as the author
resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks.
Notification of publication would be appreciated.

Title: Discerning The Loving Heart Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by
Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word
Count: 663 Category: Relationships

DISCERNING THE LOVING HEART By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

How often have you had the experience of connecting with someone
- a friend or a potential partner - who turns out to be an
uncaring person? At first you think this is a really good
person, and then down the line you discover that the person is
self-centered, narcissistic, angry and uncaring. You wonder how
you could be so wrong, and what can you do differently next time?

I have discovered in my 35 years of counseling that people seem
to decide very early in their lives whether or not they want to
care about and have compassion for others’ feelings. As a
result, people have different levels of the willingness to feel
others’ feelings. Some of us deeply feel others’ pain and joy,
while other people don’t. Some people can recall caring about
others’ pain and joy from a very young age, while other people
remember being concerned mostly with their own feelings and
needs.

The people who have chosen the deeper level of compassion are
often the ones that become the caretakers, while the less
compassionate people become the takers. Caretakers are people
who have learned to take responsibility for others’ feelings and
well-being, while takers are people who expect others to take
responsibility for their feelings and well-being and often blame
others when they don’t take on this responsibility.

If you are a compassionate person who easily feels others’
feelings, you might find yourself drawn to people who are in
pain. Your compassionate heart naturally wants to help those
people who are in pain, not only out of caring, but also because
their pain is painful to you. The problem is that this person
might not care about your feelings as much as you care about his
or hers.

So, how do you become discerning of who has a loving, caring and
compassionate heart? The first step is to focus on developing as
much compassion for your own feelings as you have for others.
Often, very caring people leave themselves out, caring about
others far more than they care about themselves. This leaves
them vulnerable to becoming the caretaker for someone who just
wants someone else to take care of them, and then gets angry
when you don’t do it “right.” If you develop compassion for
yourself, you will start to feel much more quickly when someone
is not really caring about you. If you are just focused on
another’s feelings, you won’t notice what you feel, and it is
your own feelings that allow you to discern caring from a lack
of caring.

The next step is to understand and accept that, no matter how
caring you are to others, you have no control over how caring
others are with you. You can’t make someone be caring, and the
more you take care of another’s feelings and well-being while
ignoring your own, the less caring the other will be. The other
person becomes a mirror for your lack of caring about yourself.

The more you learn to take full, 100% responsibility for your
own feelings, the more another’s lack of caring will be
intolerable to you. The more you are able to stay tuned into
yourself and trust your own perceptions, the quicker you will
discern a lack of caring in others. The more you accept your
lack of control over getting others to be caring, the quicker
you will let go of people who are intent on getting caring but
not much concerned with giving it.

It really doesn’t take long to discern the loving heart once you
have compassion for yourself, trust your perceptions, and accept
your lack of control over others. People betray their intention
to either give love or to get it, or to give to get, with
everything they say and do. With practice, you can learn to
discern the loving heart very early in a relationship. If you
want to stop recreating the same relationships over and over,
then develop your power of discernment.